confrontation station

I haven't written in a while mainly because I didn't have anything to say but I very recently got into a argument with my mother and it was awful of course but about 20 minutes later I surprised myself and wrote a letter to her apologizing and explaining my feelings,I know it sounds corny and I don't even know if she read it but it made me feel like I got to say everything I needed to say without us getting angry and saying things we didn't mean,which always happens when I argue.I hate confrontation and I don't understand it,is it to hurt someones feelings because you feel hurt? or because you need to get things off your chest? I always feel dirty after an argument like I participated in something that was literally useless.Maybe if everyone started to communicate better we wouldn't to get upset to let our feelings out.Maybe it's is something we need to express angry,resentment,betrayal,those are all reasons people argue.I don't have much experience with that other than with boyfriends when things are ending and I don't have to see them anymore,but to argue with someone and get passed it with someone you still have a relationship with is a true test,though I'm not really sure what the test is.

Jasmin in Wonderland.....

I loved the original and I hope the newest version lives up.I remember seeing it for the first time and wishing that I could fall into a magical world.

ipod touch,go ahead touch it

I have one, I'm obsessed,it's a love/hate relationship

can this be right? it's bad to be lefty?.....btw i'm left handed!!!!!

Can this be right? It's bad to be a lefty?
Read the link above and see what you think because this made me think because I knew that being a lefty was rare,me and my brother are the only ones in my immediate family but now I read this and think will being left handed have any thing to do with how long I live or how healthy I'll be?

in the headlines....

The tragedies have been piling up in this brand new year.Haiti's and Chile's earthquakes, Dawn Brancheau,a female trainer who was accidentally killed by an orca named Tilikum  who was involved in two other deaths since 1991 and two suicides of celebrity parents.It's difficult to be positive with all these horrible things happening and it's also very eerie,I'm not a conspiracy theorist so I'm not going to make connections about these topics I just wanted to bring them up and maybe spark conversations.  

                                                                              

this was too funny to keep to myself

America is known to remake UK shows and now we see what the reverse effect is with "Days Like These" otherwise known as "That 70's Show" here in the States.

superbowl sunday

In case you didn't know the New Orleans Saints won the superbowl which is a great morale boost for New Orleans especially after Katrina and the fact that the Saints have lost so much that their unofficial name was the "Aints".I only watch the superbowl for the ads and the half-time show and that half-time show was....interesting.The Who performed and I'm guessing next year they'll get Led Zeppelin,they seem to love their old rock stars at CBS,I mean after all you can't have Beyonce's boob falling out like Janet's did.

like mother,like daughter

My mom likes to tell me me that all men are bad and I understand because she broke up with my ex-step-dad that she would feel like that,but then she tells me she's seeing someone else and I'm completely confused,I thought all men were evil.She said she told me about it because she thought I would like to know that she's happy and I asked what does being with a guy have to do with being happy?,she said it's because she's a women.I must not be a women yet because I don't understand at all.She left my step-monster about a month ago but she says they haven't "been" together in years.Shouldn't there be some recovery time shouldn't she be happy that he's not controlling her life.I'm really angry about this because I saw it coming and hoped that my 43 yr. old mother would've learned by now but no she's falling into her same old ways of needing a man.Despite the fact I grew up hearing from my mother that all men are scum in some form or another I don't hate men,I think because my mom told me this and I,like every girl I rebelled and ended up in the same place as my mom,thinking that I might need someone to be happy and that being alone and being lonely are the same and it's not it can't be I refuse to believe that I'm going to have to always need to be in a relationship to be really happy,but the truth is that I'm really unhappy too but Ii has nothing to do with being single it's because I'm not where I want to be in my life and I know my mother feels the same way,so why can't she see that only she can make herself happy and a guy isn't always going to save her from herself?

hispanic teen pregnancies on the rise

Being Hispanic myself and also never having a child,I must be an exception to this headline.My mom was a pregnant teen so I asked her the questions in this video,my mom grew up poor and was lonely,she fell in love and unexpectedly got pregnant and her mother told her that if she thought she was responsible enough to have sex she should deal with the consequences and have the baby and keep it.Recently I've been hearing that schools should be teaching more abstinence and less about contraception which I strongly disagree with,I think both should get equal time.I do agree that teenagers are too young to deal with the emotional side of sex but it's unrealistic to expect every teen to abstain,even if a teen decides to abstain they should learn about how to protect themselves to be well rounded and to be informed because pregnancy is not the only consequence of sex there are also STD's so why not teach everything because it's ultimately the teens choice to either abstain or participate.SO watch this video and see what you think,I personally don't think it's specifically a Hispanic but something that all races and cultures experience.

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why i love gaga

                                            She's a performance artist

 

She's a visionary

 

At first I was turned off by her being so strange but I needed time to adjust to her because her look is overwhelming but it's all apart of how she wants to represent herself.Her album "the fame" came out of nowhere it's first single "just dance" quickly caught peoples attention.These days to be a singer you need more than talent you need an edge something that makes you unique or at least something that gets you talked about,Lady Gaga is definitely that girl.It does take a great imagination and creativity to come up with some of the things she dares to put on and that creativity also applies to her songwriting and performances,she doesn't shock people just to shock them she has a vision of who she and she lives it like a real artist.Even if you don't like her music you can't deny that she's one of the most truly eccentric and interesting people to come a long in a long time.                                                                                                            

showbiz:toddler edition!

this is what I meant when I said I was happy I never had "showbiz parents"

broadway baby!

My dream and I do mean dream because I never think of it as reality, is to be an actress and live in New York City,can't you tell by my dramatic tendencies?I also love writing because it's a release but I feel that I can't do these things for a living because it's a risk and I'm scared of failing.My personality isn't one that jumps out and grabs you,it takes me awhile to get used to people enough to be myself and when you want to be a performer of any kind I think you need to be out going.Besides that there is a lot of rejection involved and I don't exactly have tough skin.There's apart of me that just wants to see what it would be like if I tried to make it happened and another part of me wants to have a secure job and life.I love the idea of being on a stage,being in a film or writing a great story not for fame just to be someone who creates and who is creative.I want to live my dream and hope for the best.But seriously there's a lot of people who have my same dream,it's competition.I am glad that I didn't have weird showbiz parents that could made me audition for disney every year until I was too old.I really love when people live their life and set goals for themselves,it's always inspiring.So that's my secret job dream,I'm confident it's going to stay secret for now especially because no one reads this,seriously no one reads this it's actually a fact,but it's okay I write for myself...yeah I didn't believe that either.

I hate you,don't leave me!

My biggest problem in life is that I always get too comfortable with something.Bad habits are what hold people back and I don't know enough about myself yet to stop myself from things I think could hurt me.Change and challenging myself,that should be a priority because once you start to settle you get stuck in a rut.I try hard to push myself to be the person I think I could be but sometimes old insecurities creep back and I go into a place where I feel safe.I think it's good if it's for a brief period of time but I get too relieved with comfort to walkaway from the safe place and into the real world.I hate my bad habits I just can seem to let them go.

2010,you've already left your mark

I know I said I hope this year will bring changes but I didn't expect them to happen so fast for everyone around me and to be so life changing.My mother finally got rid of my step-dad and I'm so proud of her,it's hard to walk away from situations and it took her along time to leave him but she finally did.This means that I have even more responsibility to deal with but I'm glad about it because it means that my brothers won't grow up in an unhealthy environment,I've been there it's not fun.I always wondered why my mom stayed,but I understand now that when you're in love you're blind to alot of things and working it out seems like a better option then giving in.I don't know if it's possible to be in love and have the clarity.My very best friend found love after vowing it will never happen again and other friend of mine is getting married soon,everythings moving so fast.Things in my life are pretty much the same,if there whas a change I didn;t notice it.All of this pales in comparison to the tragedy in Haiti.There was a 7.0 earthquake,the death toll is running into the thousands and while this tragedy is going on people try to capitalize on it just because they seemingly have nothing better to do like Evangelical preacher Pat Robertson who blamed the earthquake in Haiti on the country's "pact to the Devil" for wanting its freedom from French colonial rule.Yeah Pat that's what people are concerned with at the moment,a fictional pact with the devil,no ones thinking about having their lives distroyed.I know there's a special place in hell for him just based on that comment.Haiti is already a poor country and to be ripped apart by a natural disaster is devastating,the upside of all this is that when bad things happen the world comes together to help who needs it but the cynic in me has to question why does it take a huge earthquake for people to help an already devastated country?,why do people need to be on the verge of death to be helped?I am glad that they're getting help and that is what's most important.

OOPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy TWENTY TEN everyone.I expect It'll be a great year,no I don't because I'm me,but for everyone else I hope it brings change,help,love,peace and happiness to everyone who wants and needs it.Everyone who already have those can use some more and for those of you who have none of these things I hope you get it.

I'm not an adult?

I can not understand why my mom insists on treating me like a child when she knows for a fact I'm not.Not just because I'm 18 but for all the other things she has seen me go through.At some point the "you'll always be my baby" thing is going to get old.As a matter of fact it's already old news.She acts like a 20 all the time.She never thinks things through and she always makes difficult.I think the reason I get angry about it because it feels like I'm being chastised by someone who has no business doing it.If we're in a room together and there's a guy in the room with us,she assumes that I'm in love with this guy and she yelles out "he's too old for you".Embarassing and unnecessary.Like I'm this little girl with raging hormones,who wants to sleep with every guy I see.She tells me that I have suffer to be a women but about being responsible,that makes an adult too.If my mom had to define an adult she'd describe herself and if I would describe a women I'd describe me.This is definetly a venting blog post because I do care if she sees as an adult,she's my mother and as much as it kills me to admit it,her opinion of me matters.I think she's going to make me jump off a cliff,unless she just bugs me to death.

i know what you're thinking

Day 1 into the new year and I'm already willing to ditch my positive thinking resolution.Negativity is like an energy drink to me,it fuels me.I gives me strength to get things done,to prove people wrong.I am going to continue the positive vibes but I'm not going to be all Kumbaya every second.So I am going to modify my resolution to just being me and getting comfortable with that.The main reason I wanted to be more positive was because I read my older blog posts and they make me sound like I'm always sad and always thinking.I realized that I write that way because it's a release and it makes me feel better to get that feeling out.I wish I could write differently but I can't and as a matter of fact I take that back,I don't wish I wrote differently.This is were I vent my anger,frustration,thoughts,etc. and if that means I always sound like an angsty teen then so be it.

Ok so on a semi-random note.Every year when I countdown there's always this  feeling that things are definetly going to change and I felt that last night.That's something I love about new year,it's a fresh start for me and I'm definetly going to take advantage of that.